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At its core, learning and development aim to expand our capacity to achieve the results we desire. It’s about bridging the gap between what we want to achieve and our current abilities.

For learning to take place, three crucial elements must align:

• Awareness of the Gap: We must recognise the disparity between our goals and our current skills or knowledge.
• Declaration of Incompetence: some version of I don’t know how to do this
• Commitment to Development: The willingness to invest time and effort into closing that gap through learning and growth.

This process works quite well when it comes to hard skills, like mastering Six Sigma or creating intricate Pivot tables in Excel.

But in the context of personal development, it becomes more challenging because we don’t really know or understand what we can become before we become it.

Most of us have no trouble looking back at ourselves and thinking oh boy, was I naive or immature at that point in my life – but it’s only when we have developed beyond that point that we can fully appreciate that we have moved on.

And if we do not understand what we could become, there is no gap, and with no gap, there is no declaration of incompetence.

In fact, we don’t even consider a gap because, most often, when things don’t go as planned, we typically attribute the issues to the incompetence of others, their unwillingness to collaborate, or external factors beyond our control.

Rare is the manager who reflects, “ What a mess this turned out to be. I obviously need some personal development.” Most have a serious blind spot as to what they could actually become.

So, don’t wait for your managers to ask for more personal development – instead, think about how you could best help them identify their blind spots.

Coaching might be a good place to start.

#PersonalDevelopment #Leadership #GrowthMindset #SoftSkills 

So, what does that mean for your leadership? It means that a critical skill you must master is ‘Holding the Space.’

Operating in a complex environment, per definition, means that the core challenge is uncertainty.

Depending on our personal temperament, we handle uncertainty very differently. For most of us, a bit of uncertainty is thrilling. It spices up our life. The butterflies in your stomach on a first date – who would have been without that. But, the ‘will I have food on the table tomorrow’ feeling – if you have tried that, is not something you are eager to repeat.

Uncertainty triggers fear

When overwhelmed by too much uncertainty, it triggers fear and, with that, our flight-fight-freeze response. As a consequence, only vital functions are operational. There are no resources left for creativity, problem-solving and all that good stuff that we desperately need more of to get out of the pickle we are in.

To minimise the unwanted side effects of uncertainty, the leader needs to make the team as comfortable as possible with the ‘not-knowing’.

You can’t do that with command and control, as tempting as it may be to channel the intensity of an action hero in the face of an unpredictable environment

Instead, you need the right combination of presence, candour and empathy. When you get that right, it comes across as ‘holding the space’. 

And it makes a world of difference to the team.

Holding Space is what great facilitators do

Holding Space is a well-known term for facilitators of group processes  and coaches. But just recently discovered that the term originates in child psychology. 

One of my favourite leadership Gurus, Gianpiero Petriglieri, wrote a piece in the HBR ‘The Psychology Behind Effective Crisis Leadership“.  

In it, he writes.

“It was Donald Winnicott, a pioneering British psychoanalyst, who first conceptualised ‘holding’. He observed that being held well was necessary for healthy growth in children. Parents who were available but not demanding, reassuring but not intrusive, responsive but not reactive, present even if not perfect, Winnicott observed, provided a “holding environment” that made children comfortable and curious. “

And so do skillfull leaders

The skilful leader holds Space by being totally present in the physical sense that she is not hiding – but out front where people can see and address her as much as possible. And when she engages with you, she is also mentally fully present. There are no wishy-washy answers to tricky questions – if she doesn’t know, she will say: I don’t know.

It is all about total transparency and candour – combined with empathy. (Empathy involves making ‘space’ for the many different ways people will experience a threatening situation.)

The direct result of holding Space well is that the team becomes gradually more comfortable with operating in uncertainty – and that, my friends, is the first crucial step if you want to get our feet back on dry land eventually.

Ah, empathy, the buzzword that’s got everyone in the corporate world nodding their heads like they’re at a rock concert. Don’t get me wrong, empathy is as essential as coffee on a Monday morning; it makes the world go ’round. 

The Misdirection of Empathy 

We often assume that leaders who fail are actively doing something wrong. A more common issue is leaders failing to do what is right. Empathy, for all its merits, can serve as a convenient excuse for inaction. Expressing understanding for the teams sounds good – but if you are not careful, you just contribute to an unproductive drama triangle.

Empathy Plus Action Equals…?

What happens when we add action to empathy? We get compassion. Compassion is empathy in action. It involves not only understanding what your team is going through but also taking necessary steps to alleviate their challenges.

Why Compassion Matters in Leadership

The team needs more than empathetic listening. They need solutions and supportive action. Compassionate leadership fosters a culture of support and action-oriented problem-solving. It goes beyond identifying issues to actively seeking ways to resolve them and creating a work environment that not only understands but also actively addresses the needs of its employees.

Check out my course Plays Well with others and learn more

#Leadership #Hospitality

#humanresources

Why is being an inspiration to your followers an all-important part of your team leadership?

 Understanding the Hierarchy of Employee Needs

Below is a figure that illustrates how the hierarchy of employees’ needs looks. At the bottom, you have the foundational elements. Without these in place, you won’t achieve basic satisfaction. This is primarily basic management stuff that you are hopefully already doing well. The next level, however, is where your leadership skills start to make a significant difference. At the pinnacle is inspiration, driven by your unique style of team leadership.

 The Two Facets of Inspiration

As you can see, inspiration has two aspects. The first pertains to the vision or mission of your team: Is your team striving for something meaningful? The second is about you: Are you the sort of person who inspires followership?

 Why Being Inspirational Matters: The Data

If you’re someone who likes your information backed by hard facts, consider this: Inspiration is a powerful productivity booster. People who are inspired produce twice as much as those who are merely satisfied with their jobs. According to Gallup’s employee engagement scores, around 63% of employees are not particularly engaged at work. Therefore, there’s ample room for improvement in team engagement from a leadership standpoint.

 Going Beyond Satisfaction: The Service Profit Chain

This subject is close to my heart. When discussing the implementation of the Service Profit Chain model, mere employee satisfaction doesn’t cut it. What truly matters is your team’s enthusiasm and engagement.

 Future-proofing Your Leadership: Demographic Changes

But there’s more to inspirational leadership than just productivity. The other key factor is linked to rapidly changing demographics. All indicators suggest that soon you might scramble to find the needed employees, especially in Northern Europe. Only one new young person is joining for every four people leaving the industry due to retirement. This disparity is a ticking time bomb.

 Your Strategic Choices: Automation vs. Being the Employer of Choice

You have two choices. The first is to focus on automation, which rarely leads to exceptional service experiences. The second choice is to create a workplace that stands head and shoulders above the competition, becoming the employer of first choice. If you choose the latter, you’ll fare splendidly.

 Why You Should Care: A Final Thought

Hopefully, you now see that creating an inspirational environment is a strategic imperative. And from a career perspective this kind of thinking has potential. Managers who excel at developing great team leaders will be in high demand. In fact, they already are.

I hope this gives you food for thought. Until next time.

PS   One more thing.

What is my definition of a team leader? It is a manager at any level who has more than 2 persons reporting to them.

In the fast-paced world of service management, relationships often take a backseat. We treat them with a certain fatalism as if they’re destined to either work or not. But just like a long-lasting marriage, sustaining quality professional relationships takes conscious effort.

 The Misconception of Fate

We frequently adopt an almost romanticised notion about our work relationships: “If it’s meant to be, it’ll be.” This hands-off approach might spare you some emotional labour short-term, but it’s a ticking time bomb for inevitable relationship challenges.

 The Art of Social Contracting

Peter Block brilliantly termed the upfront efforts in establishing a working relationship as ‘social contracting.’ It’s the understanding that both parties need to commit to a mutually beneficial relationship. No more leaving things to fate or chance; let’s get pragmatic about how we interact.

(The whole subject of social contracting and how to do it is a new post, so that will be for later.)

 Maintenance over Mayhem

In a world where interdependency trumps solo efforts, relationship maintenance isn’t just good emotional hygiene—it’s a strategic imperative. You can’t afford to let any cog in the machine rust in complex service environments. It’s about ongoing attention, timely tune-ups, and, when necessary, full-scale interventions.

 Resetting the Dials

Things don’t always go smoothly—misunderstandings, mismatched expectations, or the classic blame game can easily sour relationships. When things do go south, it’s your responsibility to reset the relationship dials. Being passive will only let the issue fester; taking action can steer the ship back on course.

 Make Time for What Matters

Don’t underestimate the power of carving out time for relationship upkeep. Even a brief weekly check-in can go a long way in ensuring everyone is aligned, valued, and heard.

Remember, you’re not just maintaining relationships but sustaining the foundations of effective management.

Check out Plays well with others if you would like to get good at this.

In an era where complexity is the norm rather than the exception, especially in the service industries, one word stands out as a beacon of hope: interdependency. 

 The Illusion of Independence

We often hear about the merits of independence, especially when it comes to leadership. The self-made manager, the lone wolf who sets their own course—these archetypes have their value, but they can also be a mirage that diverts us from a powerful truth. If we strive for independence at the cost of ignoring the web of interactions surrounding us, we’re setting ourselves and our teams up for failure. 

 The Realities of Complexity

Service industries are not necessarily complicated, but they are undeniably complex. What’s the difference? Complexity comes from the unpredictable nature of the variables involved. Take a hotel on any given day—how many reservations might be cancelled? What if the chef calls in sick? What if a sudden event floods your venue with guests? These variables create a domino effect, impacting all departments, from housekeeping to the front desk. 

 A Symphony of Success

In this unpredictable environment, no one wins unless everyone wins. Think about it: a guest’s experience doesn’t start and end at the reception. It’s a combination of clean rooms, prompt service, delightful meals, and courteous interactions. It’s a symphony, and like any good symphony, all the musicians—or in this case, all the departments—need to be in harmony. 

 Leading through Interdependency

So, if you’re a manager with department heads reporting to you, take note. Fostering interdependency is not about micromanaging each section; it’s about creating a culture where the strings, woodwinds, and percussion—the reception, housekeeping, and kitchen—can work in seamless coordination. But that only happens when they have strong, positive relationships with each other. If not they will just focus on their part and disregard what happens elsewhere.

Connection before Content

By focusing on interdependency, you’re putting ‘connection before content.’ You’re acknowledging that relationships form the backbone of any successful endeavour, especially in an arena where customer experience reigns supreme.

Interdependency isn’t just a buzzword—it’s your roadmap to harmony and success. But it requires a deliberate effort on the part of the leader to create that culture.

Learn more about creating a team where every one Plays well with others.

We talk about a lot of things when it comes to organisational success–KPIs, growth strategies, ROI–you name it. Yet, we often skip over a vital piece that’s right in front of us: the quality of relationships among managers. The old saying “Plays well with others” isn’t just for your childhood report card; it’s a crucial metric for professional growth, too.

This is how I see it:

Connection Before Content

If Alfred Adler’s wisdom could be condensed into a bottle, it would be labelled, “All our challenges are basically interrelationship problems.” The lack of strong relationships is usually the breeding ground for conflict, low morale, and inefficiency. So, let’s be clear–our ability to “play well with others” in the managerial sandbox is not a soft skill; it’s a core skill.

The Emotional Quotient: Not Just a Number

As a manager of managers, it’s tempting to view Emotional Intelligence (EI) as the fluffy stuff, the icing on the cake of hardcore business skills. Wrong. EI is your capacity to relate, understand, and be understood. It’s the difference between a symphony and a cacophony in the workplace.

Bias and Beliefs: Navigating the Minefield

Let’s be honest, our worldviews shape our relationships, often subconsciously. But as managers, we can’t afford to let personal biases sabotage team dynamics. Addressing our biases and beliefs is uncomfortable yet essential work. If Peter Drucker had a mantra for this, it might be: “Culture eats strategy for breakfast.”

Personal Accountability: Owning Our Reactions

Victor E. Frankel put it succinctly: “Between stimulus and response, there is space. In that space is our power to choose our response.” The ability to respond rather than react is a subtle art that comes with personal development. Before blaming the external environment, let’s take a moment to evaluate how our own perception influences our reactions.

The Interdependent Web: Our Global Reality

Our world is knitted tightly in a fabric of complexity. Success in such a scenario can’t be a lone wolf endeavour. Interdependence is not just a buzzword–it’s a lifeline. Peter Block might say, “The answer to how is yes.” This means that our collective potential to solve complex problems skyrockets when we focus on quality relationships.

The Final Word

Emphasising the quality of work relationships is not a “nice-to-have”; it’s a “must-have.” It’s time to dust off the old “Plays well with others” badge and pin it proudly on your lapel!

#Leadership #WorkplaceRelationships #EmotionalIntelligence #Interdependence

I find this video so inspiring – I hope you do aswell