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I’ve been having more challenging conversations with my students lately that have forced me to reflect deeply on what we teach about leadership.

For years, I’ve advocated for relationship-centred approaches like the Service Profit Chain and Conscious Capitalism. Companies like Whole Foods, Container Store, and Southwest Airlines were the shining examples we pointed to.

But today’s students push back:

“That’s nice in theory, Mike, but in the real world, it’s the ruthless leaders who rise to the top. Look at Elon Musk.”

It’s a fair challenge. When Musk suggests that “empathy is the downfall of Western civilisation,” it directly contradicts Hannah Arendt’s view that “there is no civilisation without empathy.”

I think we’re framing the conversation incorrectly.

This isn’t about being “nice” versus “ruthless” – it’s about understanding that strong relationships create effective organisations. Even motorcycle gangs, hardly “nice” organisations, succeed through powerful relationship bonds and aligned purpose.

Perhaps what we’re witnessing in the massive push for remote work isn’t just about flexibility or convenience. Could it be that people are fleeing toxic workplace cultures? That they’re voting with their feet against environments where human connections have been devalued?

The companies once venerated for their people-first approaches may be struggling in today’s market, but I wonder about the long-term sustainability of organisations built on authoritarian leadership. Economic success achieved through fear and burnout isn’t success at all – it’s merely borrowed time.

Real leadership isn’t about being ruthlessly efficient or impossibly kind. It’s about creating environments where relationships matter, where collaboration thrives not despite but because of our human complexities.

In a world increasingly dominated by AI, algorithms, and automation, our uniquely human capacity for empathy and relationship-building isn’t a weakness – it’s our competitive advantage.

The pendulum always swings. Our job as leaders isn’t to follow it blindly but to find the timeless principles that transcend trends. And I believe that understanding the fundamental importance of human connection is one of those principles.

What are you seeing in your organisation? Has the definition of “successful leadership” changed? And more importantly, should it?

#LeadershipPhilosophy #OrganisationalCulture #ConsciousLeadership #WorkplaceCulture

Are you more of a thinker or a doer? 

The reason I ask is because a recent Swedish podcast made me aware of this distinction in a way I have not thought about before.

This research identifies what may be the most significant chasm in modern organisations: the gap between “thinkers” and “doers.”

Here’s what happens:

Top executives (the thinkers) focus primarily on the future—next quarter’s targets, new product development, strategic pivots. Meanwhile, middle managers and frontline staff (the doers) are immersed in present challenges and reflecting on recent experiences.

The result? A profound disconnect where:

• Executives wonder why their managers lack enthusiasm for new initiatives
• Middle managers feel unheard and undervalued when sharing operational insights
• The organisation moves slower than it could, despite everyone working harder

The researcher offered a counterintuitive insight that resonates deeply with me: If leaders want to move faster toward the future, they must first focus more on the past and present.

The doers will never get enthusiastic about doing ‘more’ if they feel that what they are already doing is not appreciated.

This reminds me of Peter Senge’s observation that “the longest distance in an organisation is between what management measures and what the front line actually does.”

Top athletes understand this instinctively. They obsessively analyse yesterday’s performance—how their shoes felt, their breathing pattern, their recovery time—all to improve tomorrow’s results. They know progress requires this reflective loop.

The bridge across this gap isn’t complicated, but it requires something increasingly rare: presence. When executives are mentally preoccupied with future plans, their reports don’t feel truly “seen.” The connection breaks.

The solution lies in the quality of conversations. Great leaders engage in genuine dialogue with their teams—not to deliver instructions but to listen with curiosity and respect. When frontline workers feel genuinely heard about their current challenges and achievements, they become exponentially more engaged with future initiatives.

The paradox is beautiful: By slowing down to understand where we are, we ultimately move forward faster.

What’s your experience with this gap? Have you seen organisations where thinkers and doers are successfully aligned?

#Leadership #OrganisationalDevelopment #ExecutivePresence #ManagementInsights

The moment your mobile rings outside work hours, you know exactly who it is and why they’re calling. Another crisis only you can handle. Another fire only you can extinguish.

The pattern repeats with such regularity that it feels normal. You’ve become the organisational hero—the person everyone depends on when things go wrong.

The data tells a sobering story. According to Gallup, 76% of employees experience burnout at least sometimes, with the number significantly higher for those in the “always-on” hero position. This pattern creates a dual vulnerability: organisations become fragile, and leaders become exhausted.

The hero pattern emerges gradually. First, you solve a complex problem effectively. Then, you become the default solution for similar issues. Eventually, your expertise creates an unintentional dependency where team members stop developing their own problem-solving capabilities.

Modern organisational theory suggests this dependency cycle actively undermines the resilience needed in today’s complex business environment. When systems rely heavily on individual expertise rather than distributed knowledge, they become inherently vulnerable.

Consider Buurtzorg, the Dutch healthcare organisation that eliminated middle management entirely. Their self-managing team structure distributes decision-making authority across the organisation rather than concentrating it in heroic leaders. The result? Higher patient satisfaction, lower costs, and dramatically reduced burnout among staff.

The Architect’s Alternative

The architect-leader approaches organisational challenges differently. Rather than rushing to solve each problem personally, they ask:

1. “What system allowed this problem to emerge?”
2. “How can we redesign that system to prevent similar issues?”
3. “Who needs to develop capability to manage this independently?”

This approach requires patience and restraint. It means watching people struggle through problems you could solve in minutes. It means investing time in documentation and processes when the crisis feels urgent.

The transition from hero to architect involves several practical shifts:

From Expert to Coach

Heroes provide answers. Architects ask questions.

When team members bring problems, resist the urge to offer immediate solutions. Instead, ask “What approach have you considered?” or “What information would help you decide?” This simple shift begins transferring problem-solving responsibility back where it belongs.

A manager at Morning Star, the world’s largest tomato processor, described their transition: “I had to sit on my hands for six months. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done professionally—and the most important.”

From Reactive to Preventative

Heroes respond to emergencies. Architects design systems that prevent them.

Dedicate time each week specifically for preventative work. Review recurring issues and trace them to their systemic roots. Create decision trees, checklists, or standard operating procedures that allow others to handle these situations independently.

The NHS experimented with this approach in several trusts, implementing standard protocols for common scenarios. Departments using these systems reported 32% fewer escalations to senior leadership and higher staff confidence.

From Individual to Institutional Knowledge

Heroes keep critical knowledge in their heads. Architects embed it in the organisation.

Document not just what to do but why certain approaches work. Create accessible knowledge bases that allow team members to solve problems independently. Recognise and reward contributions to these knowledge resources.

Spotify’s engineering culture demonstrates this principle well. Their squad model distributes authority while maintaining alignment through lightweight documentation of decisions and approaches.

The Transition Path

Moving from hero to architect doesn’t happen overnight. The journey typically follows these stages:

1. Awareness – Recognising the dependency pattern and its costs
2. Boundary-setting – Creating clear guidelines for escalation
3. Capability-building – Developing others’ problem-solving skills
4. System design – Creating frameworks that prevent issues
5. Culture change – Reinforcing new patterns until they become the norm

The most challenging aspect is managing the temporary performance dip that often accompanies this transition. Teams accustomed to escalating issues may initially struggle with their new autonomy. Systems may need refinement as edge cases emerge.

This dip tests the leader’s resolve. Many revert to hero mode at the first sign of trouble, undermining the very transformation they’re trying to create.

The Sustainable Result

Leaders who successfully navigate this transition describe a profound shift. One executive noted: “I used to measure my value by how many problems I solved. Now I measure it by how many problems never reach my desk.”

Organisations with architect-leaders demonstrate greater resilience during leadership transitions. They adapt more readily to changing conditions. They scale more effectively as they grow.

Perhaps most importantly, they create environments where people thrive rather than merely survive. Team members develop greater competence and confidence. They experience the satisfaction of solving meaningful problems rather than merely executing instructions.

The shift from firefighter to architect may be the most significant transformation a leader can make—not just for their own sustainability, but for the long-term health of the organisation they serve.

What one step could you take today to begin designing yourself out of the hero role?

“The cost to use AI falls about 10x every 12 months,” according to Sam Altman. Within a decade, we might all have capabilities exceeding today’s most impactful individuals.

But here’s the paradox that keeps me awake at night: What good are superpowers if we can’t use them together?

As AI amplifies our individual capabilities, our need for genuine human connection doesn’t diminish – it intensifies. We’re creating a world where everyone could be extraordinary, yet our success will hinge not on individual brilliance, but on our ability to build trust and collaborate authentically.

Two critical elements will determine whether we use our AI-enhanced capabilities to create or compete:

Transparency: In a world of amplified capabilities, being open about our intentions, limitations, and aspirations becomes non-negotiable. Trust can’t exist in shadows.

Interdependence: We must challenge the myth of the independent star performer. Tomorrow’s breakthroughs won’t come from lone geniuses, but from networks of trust where enhanced individual capabilities combine to create something greater than the sum of their parts.

The real question isn’t whether AI will make us more capable – it will. The question is whether we’ll develop the relationship skills to harness these capabilities collectively. Will we use our newfound powers to compete, or will we learn to trust enough to create something extraordinary together?

The future of leadership isn’t about managing AI; it’s about fostering the human connections that make enhanced capabilities meaningful.

What are you doing to build trust in your organisation as our individual capabilities grow?

#Leadership #AI #Trust #Collaboration #FutureOfWork

Five words that often precede some of the most poorly prepared conversations in business. As leaders, we claim we don’t have time for proper relationship-building with our team members. Yet we find ourselves in endless cycles of quick catch-ups and impromptu meetings that leave both parties feeling unfulfilled.

Here’s the paradox: In our rush to ‘save time’, we’re actually creating a relationship deficit that requires even more time to fix.

Recently, I’ve been exploring two frameworks that, when combined, offer a powerful lens for workplace relationships. The first is Alison Wood Brooks’ TALK framework (Topics, Asking, Levity, Kindness), and the second examines the intersection of sincerity and longevity in relationships.

Consider this: Workplace relationships typically fall into one of four categories:

• Rooted: Long-lasting and sincere – these are the trusted colleagues who make work meaningful
• Wilted: Long-lasting but insincere – the obligatory interactions that drain energy
• Blooming: Brief but sincere – meaningful moments of connection that serve their purpose
• Popped: Brief and insincere – purely transactional exchanges that leave no trace

As leaders, we often unconsciously push our team relationships into the ‘wilted’ category. We maintain regular contact through status updates and check-ins, but without genuine sincerity or preparation, these interactions become routine exercises in going through the motions.

But what if we could transform these wilted relationships into rooted ones? This is where the TALK framework becomes transformative:

• Topics, prepare your topics thoughtfully – showing you value the interaction enough to plan for it
• Ask questions that demonstrate genuine curiosity and deep listening
• Levity , keep it light and fun to create psychological safety and human connection
• Kindness and an authentic interest in the other person’s perspective

The magic happens when we combine intentional preparation with genuine sincerity. It’s not about having more conversations—it’s about making each conversation count. A single sincere, well-prepared interaction can do more to build relationships than dozens of impromptu, shallow check-ins.

Our team members aren’t longing for more time with us – they’re longing for more presence, more sincerity, more genuine connection. They can tell the difference between a leader who’s going through the motions and one who’s truly invested in the relationship.

The next time you need to “have a talk” with someone on your team, pause. Take ten minutes to think through your TALK framework. Those ten minutes might be the difference between a conversation that wilts and one that helps your relationship root and flourish.

After all, leadership isn’t measured by the frequency of our interactions or even their duration. It’s measured by the sincerity we bring to each moment of connection, whether that moment lasts five minutes or five years.

What’s your experience? Have you found that preparing for conversations actually makes them feel more authentic rather than less? How do you ensure your workplace relationships stay rooted rather than wilted?

#Leadership #Management #PersonalDevelopment #Relationships #WorkplaceCulture

Sources: Flux Sonverly Yours on Relationships- https://substack.com/home/post/p-156638811?source=queue&autoPlay=false

Talk: The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves by Alison Wood Brooks |

I had a coaching conversation with a junior leader recently that got me thinking. “The higher up they go,” she said, “the more transactional our leaders become.”

What struck me wasn’t just the observation itself, but the irony it revealed: Almost every leader I work with craves more meaningful connection with their own boss. Yet somehow, in the daily rush of organizational life, many fail to translate this very human need into their own leadership practice.

It’s not about “bad” leaders. It’s about good people caught in a cycle of pressure and task-focus, losing sight of what they themselves most desire – real connection and dialogue.

The most effective leaders I encounter are those who’ve found their way out of this trap. 

What sets them apart isn’t a special technique or management philosophy. It’s their comfort with their own role, a true sense of caring, and their liberation from the need to prove their worth through an endless stream of completed tasks.

The research is clear: command-and-control leadership isn’t the most effective approach. But knowledge isn’t enough. The real challenge lies in bridging the knowing-doing gap – in remembering, amid the pressures of leadership, that the connection we crave is exactly what our teams need from us.

What would change in your organization if leaders at every level focused as much on building relationships as they do on managing tasks?

#leadership #connectionbeforcontent 

We often hear that meaningful organisational change must start from the top. “Leadership needs to set the tone,” they say. But history tells us a different story.

Think about major societal transformations – from the Arab Spring to the Civil Rights Movement. Those in power didn’t initiate these. They started with conversations between ordinary people who dared to imagine something different.

Yet in organisations, I often hear: “I can’t do anything about that – it has to come from management.” This learned helplessness is fascinating because it contradicts what we know about how change actually happens in complex systems.

The truth is that transformation often begins with simple conversations. Two or three people start talking about what could be better – not through complaints or blame, but through genuine dialogue about possibilities. These conversations become the seeds of change.

These aren’t your typical water cooler venting sessions. Effective change conversations require us to step out of what psychologists call the Drama Triangle – where we cast ourselves as Victims, others as Persecutors, and wait for Rescuers to save us. Instead, they’re conversations where people claim their agency and explore what they can influence, however small it might seem.

Next time you find yourself thinking, “Someone should do something about this,” remember: You’re not powerless. Find a colleague. Start a conversation. Ask, “What could we start doing differently?” History shows us that profound change often starts with just that – people at any level choosing to have different kinds of conversations.

The question isn’t whether you have enough authority to create change. The question is: What conversations are you willing to start?

#Leadership #OrganizationalChange #Empowerment #WorkplaceCulture #ChangeManagement

Everywhere you turn these days, someone’s selling the secret sauce of storytelling. ‘Transform your brand!’ ‘Captivate your audience!’ ‘Master the art of narrative!’

The ironic part is that you’re already a master storyteller. In fact, you’re telling stories right now, even as you read this.

You see, your life isn’t just a collection of random events – it’s an ongoing narrative you’re constantly writing and editing. That tense meeting yesterday? You’ve already crafted a story about what it meant. That disagreement with your partner? There’s a narrative forming around it, complete with character motivations and plot twists.

These stories aren’t just idle mental chatter. They’re the scaffolding of meaning in our lives. They shape how we interpret everything from a colleague’s casual remark to a major career setback.

Think about your 2024 story so far. What’s the genre? Is it a tale of resilience? A comedy of errors? A drama of unfulfilled potential?

But, you’re not just the protagonist – you’re also the author. And authors have choices.

Take that challenging project you’re facing. Is it the story of an insurmountable obstacle, or the opening chapter of your greatest professional triumph? 

That team member who keeps pushing back – are they the antagonist in your story, or a character bringing valuable contrast and growth to your narrative?

The magic happens when you realize you can reframe these stories:

‘This is the end’ becomes ‘This is the beginning’

‘This is happening to me’ transforms into ‘This is happening for me’

‘This is a crisis’ shifts to ‘This is an opportunity”

The reframing changes the meaning – and meaning is the fuel that drives our motivation.

So your life story isn’t set in stone. It’s more like a real-time draft, constantly being revised and rewritten. The question isn’t whether you can tell a good story – you already do that naturally. The real question is: what story are you telling yourself, and is it serving the life you want to create?

So as this year come to an end And  you look ahead to the chapters yet to come, what story would you like to tell? 

More importantly, what story would you like to live?

Happy new year!