I had a coaching conversation with a junior leader recently that got me thinking. “The higher up they go,” she said, “the more transactional our leaders become.”
What struck me wasn’t just the observation itself, but the irony it revealed: Almost every leader I work with craves more meaningful connection with their own boss. Yet somehow, in the daily rush of organizational life, many fail to translate this very human need into their own leadership practice.
It’s not about “bad” leaders. It’s about good people caught in a cycle of pressure and task-focus, losing sight of what they themselves most desire – real connection and dialogue.
The most effective leaders I encounter are those who’ve found their way out of this trap.
What sets them apart isn’t a special technique or management philosophy. It’s their comfort with their own role, a true sense of caring, and their liberation from the need to prove their worth through an endless stream of completed tasks.
The research is clear: command-and-control leadership isn’t the most effective approach. But knowledge isn’t enough. The real challenge lies in bridging the knowing-doing gap – in remembering, amid the pressures of leadership, that the connection we crave is exactly what our teams need from us.
What would change in your organization if leaders at every level focused as much on building relationships as they do on managing tasks?
#leadership #connectionbeforcontentÂ