Five words that often precede some of the most poorly prepared conversations in business. As leaders, we claim we don’t have time for proper relationship-building with our team members. Yet we find ourselves in endless cycles of quick catch-ups and impromptu meetings that leave both parties feeling unfulfilled.
Here’s the paradox: In our rush to ‘save time’, we’re actually creating a relationship deficit that requires even more time to fix.
Recently, I’ve been exploring two frameworks that, when combined, offer a powerful lens for workplace relationships. The first is Alison Wood Brooks’ TALK framework (Topics, Asking, Levity, Kindness), and the second examines the intersection of sincerity and longevity in relationships.
Consider this: Workplace relationships typically fall into one of four categories:
- Rooted: Long-lasting and sincere – these are the trusted colleagues who make work meaningful
- Wilted: Long-lasting but insincere – the obligatory interactions that drain energy
- Blooming: Brief but sincere – meaningful moments of connection that serve their purpose
- Popped: Brief and insincere – purely transactional exchanges that leave no trace
As leaders, we often unconsciously push our team relationships into the ‘wilted’ category. We maintain regular contact through status updates and check-ins, but without genuine sincerity or preparation, these interactions become routine exercises in going through the motions.
But what if we could transform these wilted relationships into rooted ones? This is where the TALK framework becomes transformative:
- Topics, prepare your topics thoughtfully – showing you value the interaction enough to plan for it
- Ask questions that demonstrate genuine curiosity and deep listening
- Levity , keep it light and fun to create psychological safety and human connection
- Kindness and an authentic interest in the other person’s perspective
The magic happens when we combine intentional preparation with genuine sincerity. It’s not about having more conversations—it’s about making each conversation count. A single sincere, well-prepared interaction can do more to build relationships than dozens of impromptu, shallow check-ins.
Our team members aren’t longing for more time with us – they’re longing for more presence, more sincerity, more genuine connection. They can tell the difference between a leader who’s going through the motions and one who’s truly invested in the relationship.
The next time you need to “have a talk” with someone on your team, pause. Take ten minutes to think through your TALK framework. Those ten minutes might be the difference between a conversation that wilts and one that helps your relationship root and flourish.
After all, leadership isn’t measured by the frequency of our interactions or even their duration. It’s measured by the sincerity we bring to each moment of connection, whether that moment lasts five minutes or five years.
What’s your experience? Have you found that preparing for conversations actually makes them feel more authentic rather than less? How do you ensure your workplace relationships stay rooted rather than wilted?
#Leadership #Management #PersonalDevelopment #Relationships #WorkplaceCulture
Sources: Flux Sonverly Yours on Relationships- https://substack.com/home/post/p-156638811?source=queue&autoPlay=false
Talk: The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves by Alison Wood Brooks |